It's the little things

I know I promised a post about Chamonix.  Don't worry it's coming, I've been a bit overwhelmed by starting my new internship, Skype and phone interviews with firms in the US and trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to figure out my monetary relations class (how am I supposed to explain calculus in French?! and why do they insist on changing EVERY. BLOODY. ABBREVIATION?).  But I'm feeling really good about the subject of this little post, so I figured I'd just write it quickly before bed :)

So anyone who knows me knows how I'm a bit obsessed with my grades.  It's definitely not one of my better personality traits, but I'm trying to learn how to live with my skewed perception of grading.  So as I've been starting to get my grades back from last semester, I've been cycling through moments of doubt and moments of resolve.  I knew coming into this year that my grades were going to go down, but the last few days I couldn't help but continue to have this conversation over and over in my head: 'Why am I a French major?  French was never my best subject!  Why did I come to a country where they only speak a language that I'm not that good at?  Why am I taking classes only in that language?  Why did I choose to take some of the hardest classes at one of the hardest universities in France?  Why am I staying the whole year?  Do I want to completely kill my GPA?  WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?'.  Healthy, I know.

But it's the little things that make all the difference.  A few phrases that mean so much more than the person who voiced them can possibly know.  In the last two days, two separate and short conversations - nay, tidbits of conversations - have made me realize why I'm doing this.   They were scarily similar that it's actually what made them so memorable.  They both went a bit like this (French = blue, me = red; Happy President's Day) :

"Vous venez d'où ?"  Where are you from?
"Je viens des Etats Unis" From the USA
"Ah oui ? Où aux Etats Unis ?"  Oh really?  Where in the USA?
"Californie de sud; j'habite à San Diego"  Southern California, I live in San Diego.
"Vous parlez très bien le français !"  You speak French really well!
"Oh, merci beaucoup... " Oh thank you... (get embarrassed)
"Vous avez appris le français où ?"  Where did you learn French?
"Je me spécialise en français à mon université en fait" I'm majoring in French actually.
"Bon, mais vos parents sont français?" Good, but are your parents French
"Non" Nope
"Vous avez un petit ami?  Ça aide beaucoup " Do you have a little friend/boyfriend ? That helps a lot.
"[rire] Je sais, mais malheureusement, non" [laughs a bit] I know, but unfortunately no (I wish, can't have it all eh?)
"Bah, vous avez un très bon accent"  Well, you have a very good accent.

Both times I was a bit taken aback by the conversations.  They were literally almost identical and I just thought it was hilarious that neither of these French people couldn't believe that I could have a good accent without being some how of French origin.  And if not French in origin, their next logical thought is that I must have a French boyfriend.  But it got me thinking - this is what I came here to do.  Maybe I'll never fit in or actually be une femme française, but if I can speak French well, that's enough for me.  That was the goal all along and that's why I'm here for the year, taking classes in French and speaking French with friends.  Yeah, if I pick up a few French habits, that's great.  But I'm here for the language, the challenge of perfecting a different linguistic register and accent.  My grades will matter for grad schools or my first few jobs maybe, but French fluency is what will stay with me for longer (does that mean I won't stress about grades and my GPA?  Probably not ha).

Like I said, it's the little things, those little conversations that take us by surprise but make a big impact.

Bisous xx