Today it is December 17th.

Or more realistically, it is December 17th for another 9 minutes.   I've been working on a few separate longer blog posts, but since they are a bit more complex, I want to make sure I put in a good amount of thought and time to them.  But it has been almost two months (EEEP!) since my last actual post, I figured I'd just write something quick (plus I wanted a quick study break).

After some of the hardest weeks of my life academically, my body literally failed on me last week + this weekend, first by catching the flu/possibly bronchitis and suffering through a horrendous cough all week.  Then Friday night, being spared of the Gastro epidemic last spring on campus apparently caught up with me when I was struck with the maladie my host mother had been complaining of for two days. Bedridden for the entire weekend and plagued with the strangest dreams, I also had a lot of time to realize how little time remains in this semester and how bloody much I still have to do, see and experience in France and in Europe.  Where does the time go?!?!  How has a whole semester already gone by?  The last few weeks feel like a blur of work, sleep-deprivation, rain and more work, but with my last exam tomorrow morning (for which I really should be studying, damn you work ethic), somehow it's all coming together.  I can't help but wonder if I missed out on something by working too much this semester - I finally picked up my Louvre student card on Friday, after ordering it the first week of September.  Making a list of all the things I wanted to do this semester in Paris that I now need to do starting tomorrow afternoon and before Saturday kind of highlighted that question : did I make the best of this Fall, or did I miss the point ?  It seems like other students have been travelling more, meeting more people, visiting more cultural sites - seemingly more carefree and more what you would expect of study abroad.  And a part of me kind of wished I'd had those things; that I had met more people, that I'd eaten out more, that I'd been to Madrid, Prague, Amsterdam and Berlin, that I'd let loose a bit more and drank a bit more.  I love to drink and dance, but I can count the number of times I've done those things this semester on one hand.  So did I miss something?

The only part I might have missed out on is the people front - my semester has been a bit more self-sufficient and lonely-studying based.  But then again, I feel like I made some lasting friendships, ones with a little more depth than the occasional night out.  I also spent more time with my host mother and her fascinating group of friends and family members.  Eating out more, while lovely, would have put a much worse dent in my wallet but also might not have been as authentically French as what I've been lucky to experience, since my host mother loves cooking and insists on making incredible food every. single. night (better on pocket book, not on stomach).  And planning the next few days in Paris and a number of trips next semester has been great fun; it's almost like a challenge now to see if I can get to all of the places that I want to see and spend the amount of time I want to spend there in such a limited amount of time.  It seems fitting, after a semester of figuring out more about myself, to demonstrate such a large aspect of my personality in a neutral setting : I am forever drawn to making things more difficult for myself, but loving them ever more because of the pure nature of the challenge.  So while I would have loved to have a nice leisurely semester of raging in Paris, I would never have forgiven myself for not taking on Sciences Po.  Because the truth is, I loved this semester.  They say hindsight is 20/20 - given that, anyone who saw or talked to me the last few weeks of November would probably think that I should look back and say "Maybe it was a little too much".  Well, maybe I really am as crazy as my parents think I am, but I wouldn't have changed much at all; if anything, I would have worked harder earlier.

With that being said, I really should finish up studying for my exam tomorrow - three hours to write a dissertation in French on god knows what general subject about the history of kings in France.  Yay so much FUN!  

naht.

last exam though.

Anyways, California, I'm coming for you Saturday; until then, Paris, be prepared to be criss-crossed and explored by a certain crazy blonde.

Bisousss mes chériesss

Somehow already October 18th

So somehow, it is already the middle of October.  This week marked our 7th week of classes at Sciences Po, more than half way through with the semester.  It marked the necessity of picking final paper topics, checking all the final due dates for exposés, digressions, and fiche techniques, and starting to worry about the fact that I don't have a ticket home for Christmas.  Life just seems to be flying by at some unreal pace, causing me to constantly be running after trains, sprinting through the rain and just generally being a complete nutcase who clearly doesn't have her shit together.

But this week was a bit of a struggle; maybe it was the ever-evolving weather, turning from the beautiful and sunny Fall in Paris to the bleak, rainy, windy Fall in Paris.  Maybe it was from the exhaustion from eating entirely way too much and helping my host mother entertain her guests this weekend.  Maybe it was the fiche technique, essay, and internship application that were all due within a  24 hour period.  But whatever it was, it was the first time I've really not been happy here.  Everything seemed super overwhelming; nothing seemed to be getting better.  Not even the little things seemed to be going well.  Walking in to Starbucks yesterday, for example, not only did I wait in line for 20 minutes, but there was also not a single spot open to work.  Upon walking down the stairs to leave, I ended up slipping on the wet steps and falling on my ass, hitting the edge of the steps ; luckily, I saved my computer from being smashed to pieces, but I now have a huge hematoma on my butt and back from where I hit the two steps (it makes it difficult to sit, lie down... one can imagine the inconvenience of that).

 I realized today though that this week was normal.  Life is full of ups and downs - I always knew that, but I guess it takes a few experiences to really get an idea like that.  When we're growing up, we have such an idealized view of the world; I remember thinking when I was in high school that I was a realist.  Now it's almost cute to look back on what I thought life was going to be like.  I had a lot of expectations about studying abroad, especially in Paris.  This was always one of my big dreams, studying at Sciences Politiques, meeting French people, living in a city for a year and being independent.  And yes, I'm getting to do those things, and they are truly amazing, but they are not what I saw in my dreams.  I think that this week was the tipping point for me, when I finally realized that this experience is not playing out the same way my perfectly constructed dreams played out.  It made me feel out of control.  And then I realized that despite the fact that not everything is going exactly as planned, this experience has been amazing in different ways, ways that I never could have imagined four years ago when I was only a junior in high school.  No, I haven't been to the Louvre every other weekend; in fact, I haven't even been yet.  I don't stop in cafés every day after class to meet up with all the French students I've met.  I don't waltz around my apartment's kitchen, helping my host mother cook.  There are no little French kids running around, constantly wanting to play games.  Instead, I get to take ballet classes at a dance institute run by dancers from the National Ballet de Paris.  I get to eat amazing food cooked by my host mother as she complains about politics and Romney and all the "bêtises" she makes.  I've been to an opera and a ballet, and I'm going to a comedy at LA Comédie française and a concert this week.  I have been French students, who I've been lucky to share a few laughs with.  But most of all, I've been able to get to know Paris, by walking around it's streets, even when it's raining or I'm being followed by strange men at 3am.  I've learned more about myself in the last three weeks than I think I learned all of last semester (and I learned a lotttt about myself last semester - surprising how telling horoscopes can be...)  How I learn, how I study, how I think, what I value, what I seek in people, places, and things.  Most of all, the mistakes I've made and the fears that made me make them.  And that is what I needed.

I can now look at the rest of this year in a new light - making it what I can, instead of trying to fit it into the perfectly shaped form I thought I wanted.  There will be more weeks that suck (I can't imagine what the first day of ice and snow is going to be like here), and there will be weeks when I feel like I never want to step foot outside of this city.  All of that is part of the experience, and it's usually in our darkest days that we learn the most about who we are [I feel like that's some botched up mix of quotes].

Sorryyy, rant done (I apologize for any writing errors as well)!  Heading to Versailles tomorrow so expect pictures soon!!

Bisous xoxo

Just my luck

Gonna go out on a limb by being a typical Californian and writing a post on the weather ha.

I came to Paris prepared for the weather to come.  After two years in Vermont, where the weather can go from 50 degrees and sunny to snowing 5 inches in a matter of hours, I figured that any rapidly changing Parisian weather would be a walk in the park.  Ah, but we are so quick to forget the ease of a college campus.  While one can quickly run or hustle back to one's Midd dorm in, at most, 15 minutes, that's not always an option in a big city like Paris.  Soon, that five minute walk to the metro station can be a very long and wet walk when the heavens decide it's time to amp up the rain from a steady sprinkle to a straight out downpour.  I'm sure you're wondering, "So why don't you just bring an umbrella?"  Well, in fact I usually do carry my small umbrella around (thank god for large Longchamp bags), but it seems every time I bring it along in fear of rain, no rain appears.  So I take it out of my bag the next morning - for example this morning.  Lo and behold, it starts raining!

In other news, I had my first exposé this past Tuesday and my first group exposé this past Thursday (as well as 2 essays, a transcription and god knows how many pages of reading...).  My individual one was on a question which roughly translates to "Should we worry about the growth of debt?".  In 10 minutes, I had to argue that yes, we should worry about the growing debt, specifically focusing on public debt.  It was super general, all in French and super nerve-wracking.  I'm not sure how I ended up doing, but I believe I botched some of my words so I wasn't super confident afterwards.  I'm really coming to appreciate the ease which fluency in a language gives us - though I'm not a big fan of oral projects to begin with, at least in English I know that I am saying the words correctly.  In French, there is so much room for mistakes, both linguistically and factually.  I've always struggled with confidence when giving presentations, so it's even more difficult when I have to give them in a language that I'm still not totally comfortable with.  I have another exposé this Wednesday - it's in my class where I am not only the sole American, but the sole foreigner.  The professor quizzes every student after their exposé,  which to me always seem really well formatted and succinct, and I can't help but feel way over my head.  I'm not even sure I'm formatting mine correctly, let alone getting across the information, using the correct vocabulary or even pronouncing all the words right.  I knew Sciences Po and studying abroad in French was going to be difficult, but I didn't think it was going to seem so impossible...

The end of this week will mark the half way point - I would love to think about it being the home stretch, but it certainly feels like things are only going to get more difficult ha.

A step away from the negative? This week I have a ticket to see three ballets by George Balanchine, at the Palais Garnier (http://www.operadeparis.fr/saison_2012_2013/Ballets/george-balanchine/decouvrir/presentation/video ) :)  Oh, and Stacy and Tom Hipkins will be here in less than a month!  I can't wait :)

Milles bisous xoxo

The One Month Mark (Plus so many pictures!)

I can't really believe it's been a month already.  On one hand, it has gone by so quickly - already a third of the way through the semester - but on the other hand it seems like I've been here so much longer.  A lot of the little things are finally starting to fall into place : French bank account, year-long metro pass, telephone, etc.  The work load is picking up, the rain is starting to fall, and my brain continues to switch between English and French.

Pictures!

I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to spend last weekend in London with the lovely Maggie Day.  It's incredible how much less stressful it is to not be constantly surrounded by a foreign language - being away from Paris really allowed me to take some time and get some much needed perspective.  I realized that you don't always notice how stress out you are until you disengage and distance yourself from the situation.  We also stopped by and saw the LSE campus, which was super helpful for my motivation.  As I told Maggie, it's a bit hard to stay motivated when you've been working towards something for so long and then you reach that point.  It's almost like "Okay, this is awesome.  But why put myself through all this torturous work?  Why am I doing this to myself?"  Seeing LSE made my goals more tangible - seeing the campus, walking around the neighborhood I could live in, going through the beautiful library I would work in - it made me remember what I'm still working for.  Not to say I can't enjoy Paris and Sciences Po for the experience is, quite the contrary.  Having a goal and motivation will only allow me to make better use of my time here and get the most out of the education I can receive.

In other news, I've managed to make a few French acquaintances; my social life has been somewhat subdued by the amount of work I have, how tiring always thinking in French is, and the difficulty that getting home late at night poses, but when I do make it out, it is nice to have young French students to go out with.  For example, last night I spent most of the evening with one of the other marraines, Sarah, her copain and their friends.  Though it wasn't an action packed night, it was still really fun and it seemed more realistic, more French, than just going to a bar with a bunch of international students (not that I have a problem with that, they both have perks).  I spent time in the 19th arrondissement, where I probably wouldn't wander without knowing people there, I learned slang and how to roll a cigarette, and listened to French techno.  It's a bit funny, because in the US we think that everyone in Paris must just go out to bars and clubs all the time, but in fact they have appartement parties and pre-games just like we do in the US.

This Wednesday, we also got to go on a tour of all the welcoming "salons" in the Hotel de Ville - it's onlyyyy 130 years old, but super modern given the time it was built.  It replaced the old Hotel de Ville that was burned to the ground during the revolution, and it's incredibly designed, luxurious and rich.  The wood floors are the original flooring, which is remarkable considering it seemed in great condition still.  Here are just a few pictures :)

Finally, our French professor has requested that we start blogging in French - since I don't really feel like switching this blog into French, I have created a Tumblr account instead.  It's a bit easier to upkeep, so I post on there a bit more; if you want to follow it, here is the link :) http://lovelylittlelivi.tumblr.com/

Confessions of an ex Glu-tard

When you think of France, what's one of the first images that pops into your mind ?  Besides the obvious Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe, Louvre etc, you probably have a small image of a French person, wearing a béret and carrying a bottle of wine and a baguette.  A bit like this --> right?


Well, I can tell you that two of those three things are apparently not just stereotypes (I've only seen gendarmes who are wearing berets, but perhaps once it gets colder, more of them will be making an appearance...)


Of course, France is famous for its wine - a class of wine here is typically cheaper in a cafe than a bottle of water (see picture number two).  You can easily walk through the streets or sit in a courtyard, bottle in hand or laying around, and no one will really give you a second look.  Let's just say, I've retired the Nalgene w/ curly straw for the time being :)

And thus we arrive at the root of my dilemma (ish) in France.  The baguette.

When I first left for Aix-en-Provence this summer, I thought about what I knew about the French and some of the perceptions we have of them.  I also thought about what French probably believe we think about them (if that makes convoluted sense...).  One of the main things I thought was that Americans often arrive in France and go crazy in Boulangeries, thinking that French are obsessed with baguettes which gives tourists the go-ahead to eat pastries whenever they can manage.  After six weeks, I thought I had a pretty good idea of the truth - I even thought about writing a blog on my observations.  But alas, I ran out of time, so my post on American's obsession with croissants, pain au chocolat and of course, the baguette, fell by the wayside.

Last Friday though, I had a wonderful epiphany while running home from the park near my apartment. Within a one block radius from my building, there are probably 7 or 8 boulangeries.  SEVEN OR EIGHT.  That's a lot of pain [Clarification: pain = bread, not pain as in "Ow, that hurts" -  I will probably use it repeatedly in this post] for a relatively small area.  As I was running at around 6:30 - 7 pm, most everyone was returning home from work.  It was at this moment that I realized the French baguette is really, truly, a French way of life.  I would estimate about a third of the people I saw were holding baguettes.  There was a line out the door at both boulangeries leading to my street.  The smell of warm, crispy bread was lofting through the air.  It was really quite the sight.

This situation also led to my discovery of a related phenomenon, which I have decided to call "the baguette bite".  Every single person (and I was actually trying to find an example against this statement) who had a baguette, had a bite sized piece missing from the end of his or her baguette.  Whether he or she tore it off with his or her hand or actually bit it, each person had nibbled.  Talk about a cultural habit :)

To return to the topic of my title - bread, and thus gluten, is engrained in the society here.  And why would they change it ? French gastronomy was recently listed on the Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity list by UNESCO (Read more HERE); that's how engrained the food is here.  A Gluten-free diet just isn't really understood here; it just doesn't work to be honest.  If I tried, I wouldn't eat breakfast, lunch or half of dinner (brioche toast, followed by sandwich, on a baguette of course, and then bread with dinner).  There would be no croissants for me, no crepes, madeleines, galettes, gaufres, croque messieurs, quiche or rouleux saucisson.  As much as I would love to lose a bit of that college drinking weight, I would prefer not to waste away.  It's been tough, and as much as I love being able to eat my favorite food group again, I somewhat miss the way being gluten-free made me feel (more energy, less cravings, less headaches).  It's a tradeoff, but I've decided it is a cultural change.  With such a famous and intangibly delicious cuisine, living in France just wouldn't be the same without eating like a French person.

Bisous xx

La butte de Montmartre - Sacre Coeur, cabarets et un vignoble?

As I mentioned in my last post, I managed to get at least one somewhat touristy thing in last Sunday - visiting la butte de Montmartre.  Known for the beautiful Sacre Coeur, it's become even more well-known because of the popular French film Le fabuleux destin d'Amelie Poulin or Amelie.  We got extremely lucky with the weather, as you can see, and it was warm with not a single cloud in the sky.  After seeing Notre-Dame, which is gothic through and through, the styling of Sacre Coeur seems incredibly different but equally notable.  With it's domes and vaulted ceilings, it's stunningly beautiful.

 Because Sacre Coeur rests on the tippy-top of one of Paris' two hills, la butte de Montmartre, you can see it from most of Paris - Sunday morning, for example, I was running by my house and I could see the looming domes of Sacre Coeur in the distance.   Not only can you see the cathedral from most of Paris, you can also see most of Paris from the cathedral.   It's quite the view either way to be honest.

 Montmartre is also the quartier known for it's cabarets, particularly the area at the base of the hill (Pigalle I believe).  For anyone who has seen Moulin Rouge, you probably get the idea.  While during the day, the area is full of tourists, at night the atmosphere changes considerably.  Our Sciences-Po buddy slightly cautioned us against going there at night, particularly for girls, as it is the haunt of slightly older men, who are paying to see women dance in the cabarets.  It's also known for prostitution and cross-dressers (of whom we saw five, while waiting for the Funicular)

 There's a super active art community in the area as well; one of the squares not far from the cathedral is full of artists willing to paint, draw or engrave a portrait of you, though usually at a high cost to your wallet.  Most of them are incredibly talented, but the works are usually expensive, catering to the tourist population that roams through on a daily basis.

I found these ones particularly cool - they were like reversed engraving, so they had this awesome dimension to them.

 Apparently it's a thing of pride for Parisiens to produce their own wine.  I would say I'm surprised (Paris is a city after all, who would imagine having a vineyard in the middle of one of the biggest cities of Europe...) but then again this is France, wine capital of the world.  Thus, every year, Parisiens help in the 'récolte' or harvest of the grapes grown in this small vineyard on the Montmartre hill.  I can't attest to the quality of the wine, but every year, Paris produces at least one vintage.

Again with a reference to Moulin Rouge, most people will be familiar with the image of the moulin, or wind mill.  This particular wind mill, le moulin de Gallette, is the oldest one in Paris.







And as today is Friday, thus ends another week in Paris - it's amazing to think how fast two weeks have already gone by, but a year is a long time, and there is still so much to explore and learn !

I'll try to post again this weekend, and talk about my expérience at l'Opera Bastille :)

Bisous xx

Inox Paris 2012

So after this weeks realisation that once classes really get going, I will have no life, I decided gotta go a bit big before the tsunami hits.  And, just my luck, some big name techno/electronic DJ's happened to be in Paris for the Inox Festival.  42 € to see Armin Van Buren, Flux Pavillion, Laidback Luke, Alesso, Steve Aoki, Cyberpunkers and more ?  Yes please. [Side note: the pictures kind of stink, they were taken from my iPhone since I didn't want to bring the Nikon...]

Steve Aoki

Laidback Luke

Flux

Armin Van Buren

AVB

Got to say, the French had a pretty good set up going - three stages, beer, champagne and wine at the drinks stands and the food options ? The usual cotton candy, fries, hamburgers, hot dogs (served on baguettes though, definite win) and of course, crepes ha.  One downside - it was super dusty - but then again, what do you expect, Coachella was dusty too.  My ears are still ringing :)

Je suis deja en train de noyer

So as I told my host mother Thursday, it's very likely I will no longer be seen much outside of my room or the library - except to possibly eat, go to class, the usual things you must do to continue a simple existence.  And why is that? Well, four classes in all French at Sciences Po might possibly drown me in a depressing amount of work.  Don't get me wrong, my French is definitely going to get better, purely out of the NEED for it to get better - while I could understand most of my lectures, taking notes quickly is incredibly difficult (and usually results in my notes containing broken phrases and incomprehensible ideas), and attaining the same level of ease while speaking shown by all the native speakers in my classes for oral presentations just seems like an insurmountable thing.  For example, in my 'conference' for my 'cours magistral', I am the only non-French student.  The ONLY.  During our first session, our professor proceeded to explain how he was going to grade us not only on the information that we presented, but also on our oral expression.  My only thought? Crap, what have I just walked into.  We will see how the situation develops, but at this point, I'm not super hopeful for my feeble social life in France...

My first Creme Brûlée a Paris - it was actually en train de brûler !

In other news, I managed to, with two other girls from the Midd program, to obtain tickets to the Paris Vogue Fashion Night Out (aka we bought the newest Vogue which contained the invitation ha).  It took place on some of the biggest streets for "couture" in Paris, like Rue Royale, Rue Saint-Honore, and Rue Fauberg Saint-Honore.  While it was pretty easy to get the invitation (4 euros for a magazine), it definitely seemed pretty exclusive, which was kind of cool.  All the Parisiens were dressed up, looking chic and branché comme toujours, and we got to see the Fall Fashion premieres for Chanel, Lancome, Valentino, Zadig and Voltaire (LOVE), and my personal favorite, Burberry.  While it was certainly a bit depressing since NONE of the things we were looking at were in my price-range, it was still fun to look around, while being served free Champagne (casual).

 

Et voila, touristy picture!  Le tour d'Eiffel seen from l'arc de Triomphe, one of the only touristy things I've done so far.  Today, I'm going to see Sacre-Coeur, so I suppose that will be one other touristy thing to check off my list :)

Next post on the electronic festival I went to yesterday - Inox Paris !

Bisous a tous xoxo